Fourth Kiss
by sourpie
Summary: Christmas holiday of seventh year, Lily prepares to say goodbye to her parents. An unexpected visitor arrives in her living room, promising such actions are unnecessary. LE/JP, LE/SS
1. Chapter 1

Fourth Kiss

Ch. 1

After making her rounds as head girl, Lily Evans delicately pulled James Potter from the Marauder's car (not protesting when Sirius Black called her "luv" or asking Peter why he was shining James's shoes).

The two sat in a vacant car near the caboose. A little small talk flared up like the blue in a fire, but Lily had been thinking to herself all day more seriously, and very quickly they were checking the car for enemy spells and discussing Order business.

"I'm fetching you on the second of January, then?"

"Please, as early as possible. You can't be too early. After I see my parents off, I won't want to sit around."

"You're implying I'd let you sit around and wait?"

"You've been known to be detained at the most inconvenient times conceivable!"

"But not at important times, like this." As James's scowled, Lily realized they were treading a thin line.

"Well—I don't mean to find reasons to be angry. I'm sorry."

James did not become angrier, but she could see he was unhappy. "It'd be so much safer if I came with you."

"Please, it's the last Christmas I'll have with my parents, and I want to spend it alone. It could be the last time I see them. If I could floo to headquarters, I would, but you know I very well can't. And, it's far less dangerous in the slums where I live."

"OK, but keep that mirror on you and use it every night. Especially—"

"If I'm taken. Get off it—if the Dark Lord gets me, it's useless."

"Fuck!" James threw his hands threateningly. She'd crossed the line. "When are you going to stop joking like that? It's disgusting!"

When he closed his mouth tightly, she knew he wasn't planning to open it again. Being the child he still was, he pretended to fall asleep lying on his seat and let his thick hair cover his face completely.

She let him stay that way for a few minutes, thinking ugly things to herself, before lying behind him and wrapping an arm around his side. She spoke quietly in his ear.

"You're saying goodbye like that?" She huffed. "Come here."

"I would, but I've lost my nards," James muttered, finally smiling and giving into the redhead's charms. "Op—no, I found them!"

She gave a wild giggle and blush. "That's manky!"

Together, they escaped into the deliriousness of their new young love.

a/n: R&R and get a shout out next chapter.

Sincerely,

sourpie.


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: I obviously don't own any rights to the characters of Harry Potter. R&R and get a shout out next chapter.

As Lily and her parents drove home in Mr. Evans' Alfasud, Lily watched her parents talk amongst themselves, still fascinated with each other twenty-four years later. She felt a bit ignored. As they talked about how glad they were Petunia had declined spending Christmas with the Dursleys in favor of her own family, Lily was jolted by the memory of talking to Petunia over the phone about the Order's plan for the Evans family.

_"Let me wrap a finger around your proposal. Do I understand that your Dumbledore is asking you to completely destroy our family by putting into mum and dad's heads that they speak perfect American and have lived there all their lives? And do I understand you are to want me to go with them? To America—a million miles away from my Vernon and the new family I'm about to start? And why exactly is that? Because you're stupid magical world is going through a violent torrent of World War Three? Am I understanding you?"_

_"It seems you understand me exactly, but you're the most selfish person in the world, Petunia. Mum and dad have to go. They're in real danger and it's not just because of me! You and Vernon Dursley and even grand mum are in danger of being killed just for the fun of it at the corner grocery store!"_

_"Oh, I'll let you send mummy and daddy away, but you get one thing right in your thick little head: you're having to erase them because all your little friends don't want them there at all. They never have and they never will. This Christmas is the last time we'll ever see mummy or daddy ever again, and don't you think otherwise. As for me, I will not go. If I am killed at the corner grocer, you will remember all the better that the world will never be safe and lovely until every last one of your kind is dead and gone!"_

_Petunia hung up on Lily after a bitter scream, and tears the size of coins burst out green eyes. _

_Albus Dumbledore magiked the phone away and caused a handkerchief with the letter A to dab around the young girls' eyes. Lily did not cry pretty, and for that she turned her head away, hiding it behind the over-sized handkerchief. _

_"I take it your sister will not be joining your parents," the headmaster sighed._

_"No. And she can die, for all I care!"_

_"A girl like you can't mean a thing like that for all the world. Even sibling discord." _

_"No—I really do! She thinks it's easy, to send my parents away—to probably never see them again? She's the most cold, unloving person I know! She's hated me ever since I left the slums for Hogwarts!"_

_"And you hate her more because she loves you less. I know this from my own brother, Aberforth. Surely, you've become acquainted."_

_Her tears did not stop, but she did ask, "The one that had an affair with a she-goat?"_

_The headmaster laughed frothily. "Yes, and quite the only __Aberforth known to __existence."_

_"But why does he hate you? You don't have something about goat-lovers, do you?"_

_"No. I'm afraid my brother blames me for the complete destruction of our family." The Headmaster did not add that he personally thought his brother right._

_"Why?"_

_"I became involved in a movement much like that of the Death Eaters when I was your age. It had nothing to do with Salazar Slytherin and everything to do with Wizards leading the world into an age of enlightenment. Alas, such is a principle ransacked with soulless, violent men at the helm. It cannot be otherwise, I think."_

_"You're talking about the movement that started Grindelwald out, aren't you?"_

_"You certainly are Head Girl. You're fierce, Ms. Evans."_

_Sensing that the head master didn't like to talk about those days, or much of his darker history, Lily decided on a sensible question. "And because of your involvement, your brother has estranged you?"_

_"Completely, and there was a time I hated him more because he loved me less. Now, I simply wish him happiness. I hope he finds a nice goat to settle down with and wider acceptance in Wizard society of such affairs."_

_A little laughter did not end Lily Evans's tears, so the headmaster said, "When the war is over, and I assure you it will be, before you ever turn twenty one, we will know exactly where to find your parents, and we will repair their memories that very day. I do keep my promises, Lily."_

_"Yes, headmaster." _

From the front of the car, her father called. "Lily, your mother is speaking to you."

She looked up at her mother, thinking her lovely, memorizing her looks, and asked her what she'd said.

"I said that I do worry about Petunia."

"Me too."

"I hope that you take good care of each other, while we're gone to America."

"We will," Lily tried.

Mrs. Evans was no idiot, though. "Even if Petunia doesn't take care of you, the Order will. Especially that James Potter of yours. I want you to know that even if we shouldn't live to see your wedding day, we will be there."

"Don't you think of marrying that Potter boy while we're gone." her father said dryly. "He's not asked me properly and it's a bullet in the head he'll get if he doesn't by the time we leave."

"Really, marriage is the last thing on my mind. There's a war on, remember?"

"That's when everyone gets marriage-happy," Mrs. Evans began. "That's exactly what happened to your father and me. We shouldn't have ever done it, but we did, and where did it take us—a life in the slums. I don't regret it, but it wasn't right to marry so young. We should've saved and saved before we ever bought us a house and worked and worked until we were in the right job."

"It could never happen to Lily if she married that James Potter. She'd have pounds spilling out her ears."

"I don't think it's right to say it's ok to marry James Potter because he's wealthy. Do you, mother?"

"No, I don't. You're too young and it's simply wrong."

In Mr. Evans's green-bean Alfasud, they talked about all sorts of things and hypothetical occasions, until Lily was very glad to be home and the conversation on the lawn, the neighbors, work, and her school year at Hogwarts, as always.

In James's mirror that night, James reported that very few members were actually at headquarters, instead following Dumbledore on some mission not known to younger members.

"But what is _not known _to younger members?" Lily asked, wagging a finger to let James know what she meant.

"They're consulting Olivander before he's taken again."

"What do Death Eaters want with a wand maker, anyway?"

"Who knows? Maybe they want him to embellish their wands with longer shafts, which would maximize their spells' potency."

"You're manky! Can't be serious for a second?"

"Sirius rubs off on me. Why, do you need me to be?"

"Yes."

"Then maybe. What is it?"

"Well, it's, really stupid, and awkward," Lily blushed, "but my parents are obsessed with the idea that we're going to get married, and you won't be able to ask for my hand properly, and they'll get their memories fixed without ever have given you proper permission. It's ridiculous."

"I'll ask your father on Christmas. Give him the mirror at seven o'clock."

"No—it's not that—"

"I insist. It doesn't mean we're ever going to get married. It's just a precaution, in case we do get married."

"Right."

"Of course, you do want to marry me. It's true love, but it's not right for Head Girl to just up and marry someone before she's even ninety. I expect your dreams of becoming headmaster would be shattered. A homosexual lifestyle is best for that, in fact."

"You're rotten."

"I am. Now, our next order of business is this: if I was in the room right now, what would you do to me?"

"This was just the sort of reason I hated you, a while ago."

"Yes. So, tell me—what would you do to me if I was in the room right now?"

"Give you a big kiss and a cracker!"

In the mirror, James grinned. "You're a strange one, Lily Evans."

A/n. P.S. Thanks Littleshiningstar for the comment. Like you, I ship LE/JP.

Sincerely,

sourpie.


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: R&R and get a shout out next chapter.

In the early morning, Lily lifted up the curtain from her bedside window and saw that another snowfall had begun outside. What was once remarkable beauty in Lily's eyes was presently a burden. Snow meant hoping the electric didn't go out, tending the fireplace, and walking through the freezing sleet. There had been a time she hadn't minded all these things, and had thought the snow itself contained all the magic in the world.

When she left the room she once shared with Petunia and entered the kitchen, she found her mother and grandmother cooking breakfast. They both wore pine green felt aprons with red Christmas trees pinned to the front. Mrs. Evans produced yet another from the dinner table.

"I made these special," Mrs. Evans said, handing Lily her very own. "Made one for Petunia and your friend Alice, too."

"Very clever, mum." Lily quickly tied it around her waist.

While Mrs. Evans sat the dinner table, she said, "Got a call from Petunia. She won't be coming, because her Vernon is going to propose properly Christmas Day."

"And he can't do that here? Not in the slums? Not with her parents there—and not even an invitation?"

A certain disappointment filled Mrs. Evans's face. She put the penny china she'd bought at the Asian market noisily on the table. "I'm nothing but happy for Petunia, Lily. She's done quite well for herself, moving out of the slums and finding a decent young man for herself that won't lay a high hand on her, or wonder off. She might come later, after boxing day, so quit fitting!"

Lily's grandmother grabbed a plate and piled it with eggs, oranges, and toast. "Lils," she said. Lily kissed her grandmother and took the plate courteously.

"All I'm saying is she ought to at least invite you two to watch the proposal—she could even strongly discourage you from coming, but she ought to at least invite you," That said, Lily gobbled up her breakfast like a turkey.

"Do they have a course on manners, at Hogwarts? Well, they really ought to! Please, chew your food!" Grandmother scolded.

Smiling at the old woman, Lily made a point to chew her food as slow as a person with wooden drenchers. Grandmother made a bothered sigh. To her mother, she said, "I'm glad to hear you'll get to see the size of the diamond Dursley puts on Petunia's hand after all. I expect it'll be huge!"

"Certainly," Mrs. Evans said, before taking her own breakfast. "And don't bother grand mum."

After what seemed an hour, Lily put on her coat and boots and improved the barrier around her house. She didn't bother with a warming spell, because she expected to be done quickly.

The neighbors mostly weren't home. Like her father, they had gone to work. Only one old man, a drunkard named Mr. Punch, looked on from the house across the street, watching the young red head walking in a circle around her house muttering spells.

"Signed in his big black book, have you!" Mr. Punch yelled across. "Taken his orgies writ with your blood! Killed with his eyes!"

Lily pretended not to hear him.

"You'll burn in his hell! He will not have mercy on you! He prides himself at your foolishness! He prides himself at your death!"

"Stupefy." She directed the old drunkard to the inside of his house, closed his door, and went on with her work in peace.

Inside, her grandmother watched. When she came back inside, the old woman asked, "What did you do to Mr. Punch, Lils?"

"Put him to sleep before noon. What else?"

"Oh. Clever girl!" When grandmother smiled, Lily saw her grey teeth. Despite the ugliness, Lily Smiled back.

"Those are actually easy spells—every ten year old knows them. If you want to see clever little spells, let's go decorate the Christmas tree. I'll show you some charms."

This idea made grandmother very happy. Mrs. Evans followed to look on. "You're sure you won't burn it down, like last year? You nearly burned down the house, you did!"

"I won't!" Lily Promised.

"Oh right then."


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: R&R and get a shout out next chapter.

She was consulting the mirror late in the afternoon, when her mother called her to the living room.

"Someone's calling me," She said to James.

James raised an eyebrow. "OK. Call on me later." Before she had the chance to put the mirror down, he abruptly disappeared, her own reflection staring at her from its surface. James Potter always said goodbye first.

Annoyed, Lily put the mirror down on her desk and ran to the living room. As she saw the small reception in her living room, she suddenly felt dizzy.

In her living room stood Severus Snape, all of an imposing 6'11, with snow in his tangled hair and on his coat. He looked at her sheepishly—and her father was there, hand on Severus's back, asking all these unusually polite questions along with her mother.

She began to shake uncontrollably, as if the entire house had turned into an ice palace from a fairy tale.

Pointing at Lily's bare feet, Mrs. Evans hissed, "Go put on your shoes!"

Bewildered, Lily scuffled back to her room to sort out her thoughts more than to find shoes. First, she considered trying to call James through the mirror, but realized that if she mentioned Severus Snape was in her living room, he would immediately set out to collect her with the order. And would he be wrong? Oh, she didn't know! What was a full-fledged death eater doing in her living room like that?

Second, she thought about why he might be there. For a cracker? To apologize? To warn her of some dastardly plan to kill her entire family? She had to entertain him, for her family's sake. It was unlikely he was there to harm her.

Third, she picked out a pair of boots and put them on with a coat, before returning to the living room. By that time, her family had vacated the room for some other place—likely, the kitchen. And what in bloody hell were they doing there? Why had they left Severus alone, to stand awkwardly in that spot with a full glass of cheap vodka in his hands?

He looked up at her. God, the shaking... He spoke.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you Megsy42 for reviewing every chapter and offering critique. I've really appreciated your advice! I'm going to join Review Revolution. I never knew about it till you came along. I'm glad you kept reading.

Fourth Kiss Ch. 5

"I wanted to make sure you had plans about your family. Recently, it's a vogue to unforgivable a mud blood's entire family."

"I do have plans." She did not elaborate. "Is that all?"

He shook his head.

Feeling as cold as she did, Lily sat down in a chair near the fireplace. She didn't invite him to sit down next to her, but he did, and took a sip of the vodka.

"You're a lot different than you used to be. If I'd so much as referred to you as a mud blood before, you would have hung me by my tie," and he smiled, crooked teeth and all.

"Well, I figure it can't mean much, coming from _you_." After consideration, she said, "It always amazed me, how you could care about blood at all."

"I've never cared about blood. You're mistaken." When she gave a puzzled look, he didn't care to explain. "I'd hoped you'd understand."

"I don't."

"It's fine." Another sip and the glass was nearly half gone. "I just don't. About your family—where are you sending them?"

"I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me where you're sending them because you don't trust me, or because The Dark Lord reads minds?" His question was unsettling.

"Both. And, to be honest, you are scaring the shite out of me. Look at me shaking here, like a leaf, and you're asking me all these questions?"

"It's fine. I understand." He emptied the glass like it was water, and sat it on the small table between them. He filled it without a word or point of his wand. He emptied it in a minute. Was he a hard drinker, now? She didn't ask. Instead, her thoughts moved to her family, and the reason he was there.

Before she could ask, the door to the kitchen opened, and Mrs. Evans walked huffily through the living room to the bathroom, looking at the two young people as if they were some kind of street act in the city, before the door closed behind her. Lily looked embarrassedly at Severus.

"I have to ask you a question but it's rather pale. Could we go outside?"

"Of course."

He stood up and held out his arm to her. She didn't take it and led the way to the front lawn. They sat in two wicker chairs and kept themselves warm with an occasional word to their wands.

When she pulled her socks up over her knee, he asked her what she wanted to know.

"Well, is there a plan to kill my family on Christmas? Did you come to warn me?"

"The exact opposite. I've come here to reassure you."

"Reassure me?"

"Yes. There will be no attempt on you or your family. I'm willing to swear by it. I'm willing to die, if betrayed by the Death Eaters." His hand reached all the way to her, but she shrank from it.

"That's not necessary. I trust you, but you promise there's no plan?"

"I promise. This protection will extend to your own life and forever."

She could no longer look into his eyes. She looked to his shoes.

"I know you're sending them away on January 1st and going away yourself. I know you're sending them to America. And I want you to know that you don't have to. The Dark Lord himself made a vow. If he kills you, or your family, he will die himself."

Her voice became thick, letting him know she thought him a real idiot. "What did you do for that promise? For what—so he can find a way to break it?"

"Don't believe me, then. If I'm wrong, you and your entire family will die January 1st. You won't have a chance. But if I'm right, and you all live to see January 2nd, you'll know."

It was not his bravery she absorbed. It was not his foolishness. It was a different revelation all together, and one to haunt her until she died.

She couldn't look into his eyes. She shook more violently. She looked straight up into the black where the snow fell from, and saw it slowly and all the same quickly floating down.

"What did you do for that kind of promise?"

"I'm quite worth that promise, somehow. Even I don't know yet, but I think he is to use me as a spy some time later."

She didn't want to know anymore. He seemed to notice and grew quiet.

"Again and again, I've thought about how it could have been better, for us, when we were children. What if I hadn't driven you away? What if you hadn't left? I just... I really want to know you're happy. We're friends, for what it's worth."

"I want to know you're happy too." She looked as if she were about to cry. Instead of holding her chin up high, or attempting to touch her, Severus slapped his knee.

"I've a trick for you. It's just like Mary Poppins. Do you remember that?"

"Mary Poppins?"

For the first time in a very long time, Severus Snape grinned as wide as his lips could stretch across his crooked teeth. He didn't say another word to Lily, but the whicker chair he sat in shook a little, as she had been before, until it levitated off the snow a centimeter at best, and then a meter.

Lily gasped. "Merlin!"

The chair quickly flung sideways, keeping Severus perfectly aligned and snug on its seat, except his long black hair threw across his face awkwardly.

"What in Merlin's name—how—where did you learn to do that?"

Instead of rotating his seat the way it had come, he sent it clockwise, to land softly facing the red headed girl. "It's not so remarkable. I once knew this beautiful little red headed girl, all of nine, who could fly off a swing ten meters if she so wished."

"But—you can fly, can't you! Really fly!" Lily shoved her hands into her face. "It's so morbid-looking! It's not like Mary Poppins at all! Especially with you!"

"I'm no dandy, I'll admit," he snickered. "You get what you see."

She laughed for the first time that night. "Oh, it's so damn cold..."

"I would stop the very cold for you, if I could."

His stare was so unsettling, like the time they were dancing at Slughorn's Christmas party, and he led her around like a doll. Would he understand what she wanted? What she needed him to do?

"Sev,"

That thing in his stare didn't go away.

"I don't want to see you—not ever again after tonight."

"Oh, why?" They could have been thirteen again. He could be standing in front of the entire Gryffindor table, asking her why she rejected him for a date at Hogs Meade.

"When we were children, I was madly in love with you." She remembered lying together by the river summers ago. Tugging his hair summer of fifth year, demanding he never grow a beard. She kissed him three times on the lips: one at nine, one at eleven, and one at fourteen. "I'll always want to know you're happy, but I love James."

He stood up abruptly. "I understand this to be unrequited love. You needn't remind me of that. It's plain. I want you like mad, but at least now every thing's understood between us. I can look back on Hogwarts and see one last thing to hate!"

"I am grateful of you, Sev."

He said nothing. His hands dove into his pockets and he looked up into the sky. Did he see the same thing?

She had never seen him fight a cry before. She stood and put a hand on his shoulder, meaning to turn him around.

He gulped, "No!" He threw her hand back. His hands moved from his pockets to his face, covering it completely.

She meant to kiss him, but only managed his coat's arm.

"No. Go back inside."

"If this is the last time I ever see you, I want a kiss."

As he turned to face her, he dropped his hands. He was truly an ugly young man and truly an angry young man.

"Go inside! What, you want to kiss this face? Bugger off already."

She kissed him anyway.

"Go!" He turned away.

Lily did. When she looked out the living room window, she could only see two footprints where he'd just been standing.

She thought of visiting Spinner's End on Boxing Day. She thought of writing him letters. She wanted to keep him with her always, her childhood prince. Only…

Climbing the staircase to her bedroom, Lily heard her family inside the kitchen. Her father was carrying on about America. The door didn't make a sound and give her away.

She found the sketchbook with stripes on the front and looked through the drawings.

They were mostly instructional. Here was Hogs Meade and here was a unicorn. Here was a centaur. Here was the Minister of Magic. Here was an owl. There were portraits of Lily, too.

_Here you are at eight and here you will be at, oh, twenty. Maybe thirty. How old is that?_

While Severus Snape at age eight had been a wonderful artist, the last portrait of Lily at "twenty" looked nothing like her, though it was radiant.

Flushing, Lily grabbed the sketchbook and started one of her own, looking away from the mirror. Her pencil crossed the neck and head. She shaded in the hair and the eyes became obsidian. A grin with crooked teeth completed her work.

On the bottom, she wrote in tiny scrawl:

_Prince_

She would leave it there, sitting on her old desk. He would find it in the room she once shared with petunia, where they sat drawing plans for a fort when they were eight.

_"We can't put a sink in the fort," he had looked at her incredulously. _

_"Why not?" She had asked._

_"Because what will we need it for?"_

_"To wash our hands!"_

_"Oh, alright," And he looked at her like he was not destroying her sink instantly with a dry eraser just because he thought so highly of her. "But this piano is ridiculous."_

**Author Notes**: I made friends with a shy, younger boy in ninth grade. He liked me very much and I showered indifferent, girly affection on him. We were as different as the sun and the moon. We had completely different opinions, and being so young and simple, I would always try and "correct" his "backward" thoughts. This annoyed him to no end. Unable to put up with me anymore (even though I was his only friend besides his older brother), he asked me to either stop nagging him or leave. He became very mean and short with me. I was so upset I cried to my father and my father went to the principals with a letter he'd written me and told the principal my friend was to no longer speak a single word to me without punishment. The principal talked with my friend and the only thing my friend got out of the talk was that I must have told the principal I never wanted to be in the same room as him again! My friend unleashed what he considered due spite. If we were near each other at all, he would try to scare me. When we were in Russian class together, he'd say all kinds of horrible things about me. I was hurt and would indulge him. Everyone was convinced he would be the next school shooter. Junior year, he was kicked out of our high school without proper cause except suspicion by an unqualified councilor that he fit the school shooter profile.

This year, he hailed me on an old AIM account and we made up quickly. Every misunderstanding was explained, nothing precious unremembered. He said, "I'm glad we talked, too. It's one less thing to look back on high school and think it was all a bunch of trash."

So you see I had to write this story. I started the moment I read Half Blood Prince but was only able to finish it after talking on AIM with my childhood sweetheart. All along, I believed adamantly in Lily and Severus ending in a better place—being able to say, "I will definitely never forget you."

Thank you for reading my story.

Sincrely,

sourpie.


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